By the name you would think it’s a simple issue concerning a minor personality flaw. It’s actually a very severe condition affecting 2 to 5% of the population of the entire world.

This is way more than just the Blues, or Sadness. It’s so bad that some days you can’t even get out of bed, much less make it to work. Life has no flavor and holds no joy. You live life “By Default” just going through the motions.

This is partially due to boredom because most that have Avoidant Personality have a higher IQ than normal. It’s also because you are unable to interact with your boss or co-workers.

This is because you don’t know how to relate to people. You don’t understand how to start and stop a conversation and miss important social cues. You don’t know what to do with their hands when you’re talking. You feel like you don’t fit into any social circle, so you avoid going out with friends or family.

If you feel that someone is rejecting you, you instantly shut down and won’t talk to them. This rejection can be real or imagined.

If you sense there is even a possibility of rejection or criticism, see it in the body language of another person, or think it could happen, you retreat into yourself and go quiet.

You have the best intentions when you make an appointment to go to lunch with a friend, go to the doctor, or something else you need or want to do. At the last minute though, you will find an excuse to get out of it and cancel.

Because the world is full of people and unknowns you can’t control. To not be in control is to open yourself up to potential hurt.

If you are in a relationship, you often won’t allow your partner to go outside the house, go out with friends, or see family. You do this because the only way you know to prevent anyone from hurting you is to control the other person. This control can become so powerful that you become abusive emotionally and physically.

To the point of hatred and rebelling against it. Authority figures are seen as better than you are, which you can’t allow, so you hate and avoid them. You have any control over the one in authority, so that person has the ability to hurt you. Authority figures can be anyone in power like a president, a boss, a teacher, or a policeman.

You think everyone is better than you. Inside you feel you have no value and nothing you think, feel, or have to say is of any value.

You choose to live your life alone. This is not because you want to, even though you often say you want to be alone. Inside you desperately want friends, family and a mate. You fear these socializations because you think others are better than you and can hurt you, so you avoid them at all costs.

This is because you think your opinion is of no value.

Avoidant Personality is usually something that you are born with. You might have some symptoms or maybe none. It’s like being the carrier of a disease. Avoidant Personality can lay dormant for years. One day a trauma, that the mind was not able to process, caused the Avoidant Personality to trigger. Trauma can be most anything from the loss of a loved one, to sexual abuse.

That doesn’t mean you’re not smart. It means you have a harder time than others processing input. Some have linked this to being something called a “Highly Sensitive Person”.

You get easily overwhelmed by strong lights, strong smells, loud noises, people that talk a lot, or movies that are intense. Too much data coming in overwhelms you, so you must get away from it. HSP is the doorway to potentially developing Avoidant Personality.

There is usually someone in your family that either has or had Avoidant Personality, or one of its components like depression, or social anxiety. Mental health issues are cumulative. This means they progress from one generation to the next.

You see no value in yourself. This is why you often have suicidal thoughts and might even act on them. Most people that have Avoidant Personality don’t live long lives. They often wind in in the prison system or commit suicide.

Some think that the only hope is endless therapy and drugs. Drugs can be useful for a short time, but it’s a bad idea to take them for very long. Pills only mask the symptoms without dealing with the root of the problem. Therapy is good, but should not become a crutch and must be provided by a therapist that is skilled in dealing with Avoidant Personality.